The Part Where I Have No Arm (aka Tuesday Tell-All)

Square
Share this...
Share on Facebook0Pin on Pinterest0Tweet about this on TwitterEmail this to someone

A few things you must know right away:

1. These pictures are titled “Red Skunk Hair.” (Mostly because, in case you couldn’t figure it out, I got my hair done again in the “skunk” style over the weekend, which is where you have wide color panels on either side of your head which are usually only seen when hair is curly or pulled back. Since my blonde panels were SO last summer, I decided to put in some red, which you totally can’t see in these pictures. But it’s there. Promise.)

2. This is an actual dialogue that went down at the school this morning as I was briskly walking down the hall past one of my male students.

Him [said while still about fifteen feet away from me]: Haircut?
Me: Yep.
Him [as we’re passing each other]: Bangs?
Me: Yep.
Him [out of the corner of my eye]: Nice.

3. My husband takes all of these selfie pictures of me before or after church (depending on whether or not I’m wearing lipstick) on most Sundays. He’s got this crazy habit of taking photos from the second he gets the camera to the second that we step back inside after our three-minute photo session. Therefore, he more-than-occasionally gets awkward pictures like the one above, where it looks like I’ve clearly lost my arm.

Other important things to note:

*For one of Matt’s classes, he’s needed to run all sorts of body composition and fitness tests on me to practice using the equipment in the lab/weight room. Yesterday, he had me max out in the leg and bench presses, measured how high I could jump, and counted how many pull-ups I could do (easy-peasy = zero). For my leg press, I managed to pop out 410 pounds, to which feat I owe the fact that I can’t move at all today. (Also, it’s probably the only time in my life I’ll ever score above the 90th percentile in anything fitness-related.)

*Can we talk about pull-ups for a second? Remember those presidential fitness tests you had to do in elementary? Well, for some weird reason, I always remember that the pull-up requirement for girls always seemed to be two, and I could NEVER do two. There were a couple years that I could do exactly one and a half, but I never did get the two. Well, apparently muscles go away if you don’t use them. Who knew? I sure couldn’t lift myself more than about three inches yesterday afternoon.

*(I CAN, however, do a chin-up (apparently they’re different than pull-ups, a fact I just learned literally like two months ago) if I grunt like a man and get a good jump off of a chair.)

*Have you ever been able to do a pull-up? Is that even normal for a 20-something (or any-something) woman to be able to do one of those?

*Seriously.

*This Friday, we have a big Super Activity going on at our school. Basically, a Super Activity is to reward all the students who get good citizenship scores (aka, any student who actually does his/her homework and doesn’t cause me to want to stick pins in my eyes day after day). Imagine this: hundreds of students all bussed out to the nearest movie theater (35 minutes away by bus), where they’ll gorge themselves on discounted popcorn and treats and caffeine and still be expected to sit through a half-day of classes.

*If I didn’t have a sense of humanity, I would get a sub.

*(For the record, I would NEVER do that to a sub. Unless, of course, I miraculously get food poisoning for the second time in a month…We can always hope…)

*Even though I know you’re only supposed to bring up the weather as a last resort, I’ve got to talk about it: can I just say, for the record, how much I’m LOVING this non-winter we’re having so far? I mean, I haven’t had to cancel my run at all due to weather yet, and it was over 50 degrees today as I drove to work. Let’s just all not hope for a white Christmas this year, shall we?

*I’m currently reading A Christmas Carol to my students, and I try to get really into it so the students don’t fall asleep on me. Yesterday, as I was reading the part about the cellar door banging open right before the ghost of Marley appears, I took my palm and smacked the side of my metal cabinet as hard as I could. I almost peed my pants holding in my laughter as my students jumped about a foot off their chairs and almost peed THEIR pants. Hilarious. This is totally why I became a teacher.

*Have you seen this Book List Challenge going around on Facebook? I was pleased to see I’d read almost a third (31), but I was pretty disappointed in some of the books that made the list. I mean, maybe I shouldn’t judge because I’ve never read it, but I didn’t think Bridget Jones’s Diary deserved to make ANY top 100 book list. Have you read it? Am I wrong in thinking that?

*If you’ve seen the app or taken the challenge, how many books had you read?

Share this...
Share on Facebook0Pin on Pinterest0Tweet about this on TwitterEmail this to someone