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I Want to Be That Mom For You


In the hustle of each day, I don’t always take time out to think about my goals as a mother, as a wife, as a friend. Often, I’m just so preoccupied trying to feel like I’m keeping up that I forget to look up and make sure I’m headed in the right direction.

I’m thankful for built-in opportunities (such as Mother’s Day) that remind me of all there is to aspire to, all there is to admire in the women who have made such an impact in my life, and all that I want to embody for my daughter.

Raven got to spend time with two of her three grandmothers yesterday, as well as one of her great-grandmothers. I am so thankful to have these women in our lives, so that I don’t feel as much the burden of trying to be everything—rather, she is able to see everything wonderful in the diverse mix of womanhood that’s all around her.

I AM grateful, though, that thanks to all the strong women in my life, I am inspired to reach a little higher, to try a little harder, and to be a little better each in every day in my quest to be The Ideal Mother.


Raven, for you, I want to be a mother who shows, through words and actions, that she loves you completely (more completely, in fact, than she even knew was possible). I want to be the mother who shows you that even when you make mistakes or make poor choices, you don’t diminish that love, and that by trying to help you to see a better way, that love only grows more.

I want to be a mother who is unafraid to show–in any situation–that she is a woman of faith, that she is a believer of Christ, that she believes that there is a great and eternal purpose to our time here on earth. I want to be a mother who shows you that in practicing that faith, there is peace; that in striving for those ideals, there is growth and joy. I want to be a mother who pursues the higher way, even though it is usually the harder way.

I want to be a mother who loves learning, who embodies the pursuit of not just knowledge, but wisdom. I want to be a mother who takes the time to teach you the WHY, and not just the HOW or the WHAT. I want to be a mother who is not too busy to teach you how to do for yourself.

I want to be a mother who illustrates that people to be loved are more important than problems to be solved. I want to be a mother who makes the time to listen, to soothe, to explain, to help. I want to be a mother who is not distracted by whatever is loudest or messiest or most popular, but who is focused on what is truly the most important.


I want to be a mother (like your Great-Grandma Goldie) who is generous and open-handed, who is always looking for ways to share, whether it be through love or encouraging words or special treasures. I want to be a mother who is unafraid to speak the truth, even if it isn’t always easy. I want to be a mother who always seems to have enough—enough patience, enough time, enough love to share, no matter how many things and people are clamoring for my time.


I want to be a mother (like your Grandma Allred) who is endlessly looking for ways to serve, who daily goes out of her way to ease the burdens of those around her, both in and out of her immediate family. I want to be a mother who, when you are a mother yourself, you feel like you can go to for everything (and I mean everything)—how to mend a button, how to buy a home, how to cook for a crowd, how to organize your life…

I want to be a mother who is strong in the face of adversity, who never loses hope or faith, and who you can count on to be a rallying force for good.


I want to be a mother (like your Grandma Meidell) who takes time to play, to get down on hands and knees and be silly, who makes up funny songs and delights in your conversation and who seeks out opportunities for fun and laughter. I want to be a mother who radiates optimism and contentment, and who makes everyone feel welcome in her home.

I want to be a mother who can stay cool in the face of frustration, who can hold you and tell you over and over again that you are loved (even while you might scream out how your feelings for me run otherwise). (This is based on an early event in Matt’s life, where he remembers screaming at his mother how he hated her, and how she held him and rocked him and whispered over and over again, ” I love you, I love you” until he finally calmed down)

There are many more mothers than just these three who have shown me the standard of motherhood, who have raised it up high and shown it as something to be cherished, to be proud of.

And I hope, with all that I am, that I can be that kind of mother for you.

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