Things My Husband and I Disagree On

I am the first to recognize that I am unbelievably fortunate in my choice of spouse–not only is Matt uncommonly in tune with the needs of other people, dashingly good-looking, and truly “one of the greats,” but he also sees eye to eye (or close enough) with me on virtually almost every important issue that could cause divisiveness: religious ideals and values, politics, child-rearing practices, financial goals, who gets to choose the movie we watch (me), the correct way to hang the toilet paper roll, etc. This is partly the reason why we became such good friends in the first place (since we were friends for years before we ever started dating)—we were extraordinarily compatible in that we aligned on all the most important things while differing enough on others to still make it interesting.

However, lest you think we never disagree, I thought I’d give you a little peek into some of the things that we definitely do NOT see eye to eye on (and why!):

*The virtue of cold pizza.

I don’t even know how long I’ve thought that cold pizza straight out of the fridge is awesome, but I DO know that there are MANY other people who agree with me on this point (the majority of my college roommates, for starters). Matt thinks this is totally, unbelievably disgusting. In fact, he *almost* refused to even try it, just on principle, but even when he did, he claimed that it just tasted like “cold cardboard.” So though I continue to eat leftover pizza straight from the cold tupperware container, he will still eternally insist on heating his up.

*The best way to rinse and wash dishes

You guys…I cannot even express to you how many, uh, “conversations” we’ve had about rinsing dishes in our marriage. Granted, neither of us is really one to pick a true fight (and we’re definitely not yellers), but we have discussed the dishes so many times that it’s become one of those inside-jokes-where-you-know-the-other-person-is-still-exasperated-with-you kind of things whenever it comes up.

Here’s the dish (bad pun intended):

Matt is of the mindset that dishes should be scrubbed off immediately after using (while the food is still semi-loose) and left to the side of the sink in neat stacks until all the dishes are loaded at once into the dishwasher at some future point. Under no conditions (he has told me many times) are dishes to be left in the sink with standing water in them. I, on the other hand, am ALL FOR the rinse-plates-and-cups-quickly-and-load-them-in-dishwasher-right-then thing and then the leave-the-big-dishes-to-soak-for-a-few-hours thing.

Our compromise? If the dishwasher has clean dishes in it and can’t be loaded, I do my best to remember to wipe down all the dishes and leave them in stacks by the sink. I also try hard to leave a side of the sink totally empty no matter what (one of Matt’s other pet peeves), though I’m not great at always doing it. If we’re in a hurry and I need to leave big dishes to soak, Matt (usually) will pretend to look the other way…at least if they aren’t left long enough to stink.

*The acceptability of choosing plain vanilla ice cream when offered (any) other options

It should be no surprise to anyone who has read my blog for any amount of time that I am a chocolate girl, through and through. If we go to an ice cream shop together, it is almost guaranteed that I will choose a chocolate option, and often a chocolate-on-chocolate-on-chocolate option, if there is one. (My favorite at Cold Stone? Their limited-edition fudge truffle ice cream with brownies, Oreos, and marshmallows mixed in.) If you are offering me vanilla ice cream, it had better come with the option of adding hot fudge and bananas on it, too. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Matt, however, seems to think that plain vanilla ice cream is somehow a delicious (and acceptable) thing all on its own, with no adornments whatsoever.


*The correct way of dealing with leftovers. (Better said, the acceptable TIME SPAN when dealing with leftovers.)

Matt and I are both generally fans of leftovers, which is awesome, as we’re both naturally quite frugal and eating leftovers is a FANTASTIC way to save money (especially when you take them in for lunch each day to work, as we both did when we were both working full-time). However, as anyone who actually stores leftovers can attest, sometimes you kind of, um, forget about the leftovers in your fridge for awhile. And because those leftovers get other things pushed in front of them, you might not see them for, well, *cough* three or four months or so. Then something starts to smell in your fridge. And then you argue about who has to be the one to 1) open the container, and 2) dispose of its contents.

After a few such fridge-cleaning sessions, Matt finally tried to make the pronouncement that we were to throw away any leftovers that were not going to be brought into work the next day. Frugal me balked at such an outlandish idea—after all, I legitimately used up odd ends and bits all the time (like onion bits or half a can of tomato sauce or what-have-you). In fact, I wrote a whole post on how I did use such things when I detailed how we cut our food waste in half. So, me waste food? NO WAY!

However, as every fridge clean-out attests, I am not perfect at using up everything, no matter how good my intentions. And since Matt ends up cleaning out those dishes easily more than half the time, he will likely still continue to fight for the food waste to happen sooner, rather than later.


*Whether Harry should have ended up with Ginny or Cho Chang

Matt and I, being the Harry Potter freaks that we are, have had many a long-winded conversation about various points of Potter doctrine. We also spend an exorbitant amount of time on car rides speculating about aspects of the magical world (mostly because on long car rides, we will basically be guaranteed to be listening to one of the books or other on c.d.). Matt is firmly of the mindset that if it weren’t for Cedric, Harry would have ended up with Cho Chang. Since I think Cho was entirely too melodramatic for Harry and that they had little in common besides Quidditch and a general attraction to each other, I think Ginny and Harry make a much better match (though, admittedly, I always thought Harry was going to end up with Hermione in the end).

Inevitably, every time this subject comes up, we just end up having to close it with the ever-useful, “Well, we’re just going to have to agree to disagree on that, dear.”

*The question of if we’ll ever get a dog

I groan whenever this topic comes up. The simple truth is, Matt would have bought a dog the day we got home from our honeymoon, and I never, ever want to own one. This is an argument that, unfortunately, is coming up more and more now that we actually live in a house (with a fenced-in backyard, no less), and it doesn’t help that Matt has just finished reading this book I got him for Father’s Day that’s all about how to negotiate better…

*If we should peel the apples for Raven or not

One of Matt’s shudder-worthy pet peeves is when I bite into the skin of an apple in front of him—he hates it THAT much. (He’s overall much more put off by the texture of a food than I am, period.) So naturally, whenever he gets an apple for Raven, he takes the peel off (though part of his reasoning also has to do with the fact that the peel can be more of a choking hazard).

I, however, do not want to be peeling apples for the rest of my life when the skin is super good for you, anyway. So I usually leave the skin on. Only time will tell who she takes after on this one.

*Whose turn it really “should” be to help Raven on the potty (or before, to change her diaper)

When I was still teaching full-time, Matt stayed home with Raven a good portion of the day, until about noon or even one. During that time, we worked out that when were both home at night after work, we would still just take turns changing her diaper, rather than me changing all of them because he had changed them for the rest of the day.

Well, I foolishly tried to change it over to him changing all of them at night once I was the one staying home all day, but no dice—we still take turns when we’re both home. Period.


(Yes, Matt has always been much more selfless than I am…why do you ask?)

*How “done” toast should be

We eat toast pretty regularly almost every morning, so I have had ample time to perfect my toasting technique—one full cycle down in the toaster on the 3rd setting, then flip the toast over and do it for a half cycle on the other side. This ensures that the bread actually becomes golden brown on both sides (aka, “TOASTED”), just like it was always meant to be.

Matt, however, prefers the toast to be just the tiniest amount crisp, with no dark (or even medium, preferably) brownage of any kind on other side.

While his preference does, admittedly, save me about 30 seconds every morning, it’s really the principle of the thing in the end, ya know?

What things do you and your significant other disagree about?


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