Not to Brag, But I’ve Kinda Been Killin’ It Lately -

It’s no secret that we had a really rough start to our year—already by the end of March, we’d dealt with death and illness and loss and tragedy, and there was a point around the beginning of April where I was so beset with anxiety over what was lurking around the corner for us that I had a really hard time just taking the time to appreciate what was ahead of me and the happiness in little things that could be found daily.

For several weeks, I consciously had to train myself to think optimistically, to not dwell on what the future may (or may not) hold, to study words of faith and inspiration on a consistent basis to help keep me anchored to what really mattered.

And almost imperceptibly, I felt a shift in my mood and my hopes for the future and my ability to enjoy the present moment on a daily basis, until suddenly, this last week or so, I’ve realized how HAPPY I’ve been lately, and I’ve been impressed with how much I’ve been able to accomplish.

If you’ve been a reader for awhile, you might remember a post I wrote back in April all about the problem with being content, and how in seeking only to be content with what I already have for the past several years, I also hadn’t been pushing myself to dream bigger or enlarge my comfort zone.

Well, I think I’m getting over that.

Each week since the beginning of the year, I’ve been making weekly to-do lists on Sunday night for the coming week, with each list generally holding about 25 items (with many of those items holding multiple items within themselves, such as a goal to go to three exercise classes that week).

Additionally, I’ve been setting monthly goals since the beginning of the year (generally around a dozen) for bigger-picture things I want to focus on, or things that will contribute in a larger way to my personal growth or to our closeness as a family.

And may I just say, I’VE BEEN KILLIN’ IT!

In May, among other things, I (and in many cases, Matt too):

– contacted our credit union to get prequalified for a home loan
– figured out some stock certificates left to me by my grandpa and transferred them into my own name, which I’d been putting off for over 4 years
– went to the temple twice
– lost about 5 pounds, getting my weight back down to what it was before this last pregnancy (which ended in miscarriage)
– went on a day adventure to the zoo (which I still need to blog about)
– went on an overnight anniversary date
– read six books
– made an offer on a home (which was accepted)
– made a new friend
– listed the rest of the items from the storage shed and have sold many of them (woo hoo!)

Basically, I got every single monthly goal accomplished (with the exception of one, which I couldn’t do as planned because I was sick), and now my momentum and motivation is the highest it’s been in ages.

Something I’ve been grateful for lately is the amount of energy I’ve had. While I’m still sad that my last pregnancy miscarried, I’ve tried to look at the positive side as much as possible, and that means I’ve really appreciated having a full amount of energy and strength to do all that’s needed to prepare for our move in a few weeks. (Something I’ve also noticed is that it no longer hurts–even a little–to hear of other people who are due to have a baby around the same time I expected to have mine. Instead, I only feel joy and excitement for them, which has been a real blessing for my emotional state as well.)

So, even though I’d still like to be pregnant, I’m taking advantage of these unexpected months of energy and such to tackle these huge tasks that lie ahead, as well as several tasks that have been nagging at me for months or even years. For the first part of this year, the to-do list helped me just get through the days with something tangible to work on, but now, I find myself flying through the tasks on each one, and feeling pretty unstoppable as I do.

Now, for June, here’s what’s up on the monthly to-do list:

– Complete all the requirements to receive the first-time homebuyers grant (which we’re getting through our credit union—such a blessing!)
– Sell all the stocks that my grandpa left me and transfer the money into bank account before we close on the house
– Have one final game night in our apartment before we move
– Go to the temple at least once (I’d like to go twice, but with as crazy as the month is looking…once is probably going to have to be sufficient)
– Close on home
– Pack up apartment
– Paint new house (Raven’s future bedroom in its entirety, both bathrooms, and two accent walls, along with the exterior trim and the front door)
– Move into new house
– Change address / Set up utilities / Etc.

It’s going to be a pretty crazy month, but I haven’t felt this excited in a looooong time, so I’m hoping that enthusiasm carries me through all that’s still needing to be done.