These thoughts were written down five weeks ago when I still hadn’t gone completely public with the announcement.
I am now 12 weeks along, and while I’ve gotten used to many of the symptoms that have come with the first trimester, I am ready for them to be over with. Everyone keeps telling me that the second trimester will be completely different and a million times better, so I just keep steeling myself to wait just a couple weeks longer.
One thing that surprised me about this whole pregnancy process was the relief I felt when we finally started telling people. I felt like such a liar going around for several weeks because I had this huge part of my life that I was holding back, and I just wanted to talk about it openly instead of trying to hide it. I also wanted to be able to talk to women who had been there before, but I was really determined to wait until that 10-week ultrasound before telling a soul.
I didn’t end up making it, of course—when every day felt like a thousand hours, I just couldn’t bring myself to wait so very long to have a confidante who actually knew what it felt like. So I spilled the beans at 9 weeks to my family (and a few days after that to Matt’s family). And while I’d intended to to wait until I was well into the second trimester to tell people at work, that didn’t work out so well either.
But telling people was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders–it became a bit addictive, actually.
(In case you’re curious about how we spilled—for my family, I wore a shirt that said, “Baby is Loading” and laughed about how long it took everyone to notice. For Matt’s family, we announced it at my niece’s baptism, so I just used my loud teacher voice and told everyone that our present for our niece wouldn’t be coming until April. Once again, it was funny how long it took some people to figure it out. I had always planned on doing something a bit more dramatic to announce it, but I was so sick and tired by that point, I just didn’t care anymore.)
It’s funny how my expectations of pregnancy and my reality of pregnancy have really not matched up. I was always seeing these clever ways on Facebook on and on Pinterest of announcing pregnancy, but when I was actually in the thick of it all, it was all I could do not to go around with a sign that said, “If I look grumpy and/or nauseated and/or hormonal, it’s okay—I’m pregnant.”
Hopefully I only have a couple more weeks of this icky-sick time to go…
Note: I am now 17 weeks, and I’m feeling loads better. I still have a picky appetite that I never had before and I still don’t have any energy to do housework, but at least I don’t have to worry about the nausea or fatigue so much anymore.
