You may or may not have noticed that I haven’t been blogging as much as I was before. (In case you need a breakdown of my “usual” blogging schedule, I usually blog on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, which equates to around 12 times a month).
By any standard of regular blogging, 12 times a month really isn’t that much, especially when you consider that when I first started really getting into blogging, I was posting 5 times a week and writing up to 23 (!) posts in one month, or basically double what I’m doing now.
After making the decision years ago to blog solely for my own pleasure rather than profit, I kind of fell off the blog train for awhile (it didn’t help that I got pregnant and felt hoooooorribly sick for the first 3 months). Having Raven revived some of the old blogging juices, but it wasn’t until last year, when I set the resolution to blog at least 12 times a month, that I felt like I’d finally gotten back into the full swing of blogging again.
I fully intended to do the same this year, but it seemed like we were just hit with one thing after another, and it became harder and harder to show up here. Although I know I have wonderful blog readers who appreciate honesty, I also know that it’s generally more interesting to provide posts on a variety of topics, and this year, because of what we’ve been through, my mind has been called up over and over again to the same things over and over, and rather than overwhelm everyone with posts on similar topics, I’ve just stayed silent.
Lately, all I can think about is our new house, and all the packing/moving/document signing that goes along with that. Technically, I still have time to blog—Raven is still blessedly going down regularly (more or less) for an afternoon nap, and I have that time set aside to blog…
But my mind’s not in it.
My mind is instead on what I want to pack next, or how I want to make another batch of those chocolate sugar cookies I made earlier in the week (which I, um, already did before starting this blog post), or on how I’m basically in summer reading mode and just want to read every chance I get. I’ve been trying to talk myself into using the time to blog like I feel I “should” be, but it rarely seems to work.
Most people would say for me just to take a blogging break and pick it back up again next month when we’ve closed on the house (so my mind will finally be free to think about something else…like unpacking and home renovation projects).
And, really, there’s no logical reason why I SHOULDN’T take a break–after all, since I blog solely for my own benefit, it’s not like I’m tied to obligations made to other companies or bloggers or anything.
But I’m scared to take a full break. And this is why:
When I last let myself just blog whenever I felt like it, there were months I only blogged 3-4 times in the whole month, most notably during my pregnancy. And while this is hardly the end of the world, I still, to this day, regret not having written more during that time of my life (and I especially regret not having taken more pictures).
The fact is, this blog, for better or worse, has officially replaced any journal/scrapbook/diary that I might keep on my life. This blog is IT.
So when I don’t write, and I don’t post…it’s like those times disappear from existence (because heaven knows my memory is too poor to remember much of them).
All this is just to say that I’m not letting myself take a full break, but that I might not be posting as much as usual over the next month, too. All of this is to remind myself that even though blogging takes work, it’s something I want to continue investing my time and energy in.
So hopefully by the end of June, I’ll be right on track to the regular posting schedule again, with a mind that’s not so tied to just one thing.